It may not seem like a big deal or anything to procrastinate
about too much, but removing one word from a blog title is
a big deal especially when you remove the word music from
the title of a music blog. After a lot of `umm-ing` and `arrr-
ing` and waiting for a reasonable amount of people to start
making some comments to the 70 plus music blogs i have
written to date and in the finish giving up, i made a quick
but well considered decision today to take the word `mu-
sic` out of my blog title and take the blog in a new direc-
tion, where i will continue to write predominantly about
obscure or forgotten about music but also throw in some
stuff about movies, TV and lost treasures right across the
entertainment spectrum. To start the ball rolling, i thought
i`d lightheartedly share with you my memories of a horror
movie from years ago called `Motel Hell`. I am not one for
outright explicit violence in films, but when mixed with sat-
ire, pisstake and a bit of mock violence of the purely theat-
rical kind, horror movies are capable of doing two things -
(a) providing an escape from reality for the audience, and
(b) providing many good excuses for the audience to have
a good belly laugh at how unfunny the unintentional come
dy in the movie is and how bad the acting is. `Motel Hell`
is right on the money for both (a) and (b). It sures does
give the audience a break from reality and makes reali-
ty seem damn bloody good actually, even if your boss is
a tosser and your neighbour is killing your chickens with
rat poison. That`s because the fantasy world you enter
when you watch `Motel Hell` is a very gutwrenching &
unpleasant experience to say the least, where a farmer
and his just as wicked and demented sister turn canni-
balistic and start up a garden patch next to the motel
they run next to the farm which they use to fatten up
people they abduct to serve them up to motel guests
as the best rump steak in the land. It sounds mighty
maccabre, and it is, but it`s also so ridiculous and un-
intentionally funny that the satirical sub-plot ends up
giving you more goosebumps from laughing so much
than the goosebumps one gets from being scared. It
really is one of the best pieces of camp satire-horror
in cinematic history, even if i could have acted better
than the B-graders who starred in the film. It would
have been easy for me to simply Google the film on
the internet and slag off all the info about actors and
when the movie came out ect, but being independent
me, i decided to just doodle a little blog about the mo-
vie based on my recollection of the movie after watch-
ing it twice, the last being probaly about 15 years ago
or so. As i already explained, the far fetched plot sees
a sadistic farmer and his sister, the farmer also being
a butcher who has a slaughterhouse adjoining the mo-
tel, turn absolutely bonkas and at some point decide
to start up a vege patch that hasn`t got a vege any-
where to be seen. That`s because the vege patch is
used by the evil sibling duo to bury people in up to
their necks, after slashing their vocal chords to try
and stop them singing out for help, so they can be
turned into steaks in the mad farmers butchery.
Forgive me if i am wrong, but i think the local she-
riff in the movie is the brother of the crazy duo of
doom. Their undoing results when one of the vic-
tims in the vege patch somehow digs himself out
of his deathly predicament and makes a run for
it, but not after helping a few other victims out
as well. The ending of the movie is satire horror
at its worst for acting but its best for a good bel-
ly laugh. The mad farmer gets cornered in the
slaughterhouse, i think by his brother (the she-
riff) and a few pissed off former garden dwellers,
and he dons a pig head as a mask and goes about
going apechit with a chainsaw before he gets him-
self killed. The other silent nuance in the movie,
argubaly the creepiest part of the movie, is the
motel`s sign. The motel is actually called Motel
Hello, but the `o` in the name keeps flickering
on and off because the light bulb is bung, hence
the pretence of the movie is that evil only come
upon the motel after it started going bonkas. By
the end of the movie the `o` in the motel lights
isn`t working at all. I wonder if the actors knew
that, were they really acting, or did this all real-
ly happen at Motel Hello. We shall never know!
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